and while

my room is now tinted with an almost perfect yellow hue of the afternoon sunshine. i come back to this familiar, yet uninteresting space. my thoughts the past few months have been coming and going, and He holds all things together. i wonder if yesterday or yesteryears moments could be relived. well i used to. but im looking onward, and while nostalgia can be a bittersweet thing curdling your emotions, im glad to be made stronger :)

we're in a system

To appreciate the relationship between parts and wholes in living systems, we do not need to study nature at the microscopic level.

If you gaze up at the nighttime sky, you see all of the sky visible from where you stand. Yet the pupil of your eye, fully open, is less than a centimeter across. Somehow, light from the whole of the sky must be present in the small space of your eye. And if your pupil were only half as large, or only one quarter as large, this would still be so. Light from the entirety of the nighttime sky is present in every space - no matter how small.

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This is exactly the same phenomenon evident in a hologram. The 3 dimensional image created by interacting laser beams can be cut in half indefinitely, and each piece, no matter how small, will still contain the entire image. This reveals what is perhaps the most mysterious aspects of parts and wholes: as physicist Henri Bortoft says, "Everything is in everything."

pronto!

What keeps me going after a long day (there are many, or two, variations as to a 'long day', it could either be satisfying or draining):-

1. God

2. reading stories after stories of people who are really out there doing something for Him

3. people (usually unnamed) doing kind deeds

4. just watching the world go by and realise my existence and purpose in this whole system

What kept me curious:

Watching this tough rough guy sitting alone in the food court, amidst the noisy crowd, and he lowered his head and said a long grace,

...then he opened his beer cans.

those yesterday feelings

this is me here, typing out paragraphs after paragraphs, 26 alphabets rearranged again and again to form meaning, albeit too much emotions. then i thought "maybe this should not be here", so i pressed 'delete' and this is what you see. typical?

jelly beans and rice

and so i attempt to pen(type) down details for as much as i can remember. but time itself is finite, we only have this much.

can you hear april sounding? this friday is Good Friday. this week proves to be a crucial week for many, i myself is no exception. but i want to be better.

A quarter of 2010 sliced away, and i ask myself- what do i do to make it worth? He tells me the answer. and, the past three months have been superb

i'm determined.
i'm determined not to run solely on emotions again, ever.
"the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart."
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quietly i wait.

crossing out the different tasks achieved. relieved, that in hindsight, i've left it all behind. like tearing off the pages you made a mess on, it gives you great comfort to know that the book is still pretty much very thick for you to fill in later on.

oh but don't tear too much on impulse

haitch

" And there are always people who find their lives have become so unsupportable they believe the best thing they could do would be to hasten their transition to another plane of existence.

It's like the people who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

it's never about the circumstances

i guess we could choose to. it is after all but a choice, a thin line curved between the two areas. minimal carrying too much weight. sometimes decisions get a bit tied up, then we should know better - leave the choosing to God

pending

and so it all started again, the whole hoo-ha, the little mountains. but i am glad for many other things, and to find myself made more courageous by Him, that was one.
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like always, you go to places, and i can't follow
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21 days of this commitment i made, i believe for much, believe with me.
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#1: Excuses can only get us that far.
#2: Preach the gospel, when necessary, use words.
#3: Being faithful with the little gives us more.
#4: It's the personal walk with God that makes us a great Christian.
#5: Take short accounts, that's how you win.
#6: It is not easy for you to miss God's will, if you really want to do it.
#7: You can't share what you don't have.
#8: God builds up new stories for you over the years!
#9: Every dream comes with a testing.
#10: Live like something big is going to happen tomorrow.

closure

refresh

today was another day. like all others days, He spoke.

Los Angeles Tower

Andrew: There's a handful of normal kids thing I kind of missed.
Sam: There's a handful of normal kids thing I kind of wished I'd missed.

fledgling

that we were once only freshmen, brains only capable of that much. how reality sets in, and life itself changes. that once, you and i could be, and what happened in between was life, life itself. do you think you have life now? i know i do, i have Christ, and to me, that is life.