sporadically

1:15am, 1st November 2009
put your palm where your heart is. you can feel it beating rhythmically, steadily. that's when you're reminded that you are alive, and yet ironically, life is so frail. all it takes is for that now tangible heartbeat to stop.

sometimes we fail to take that moment to pause, even for a short while. pause, listen and feel your heart beating, quietly and silently without the stethoscope. be comforted that while your mind may tell you to give up at times, your heart has been doing its job faithfully all along, all these years. and be grateful that He has kept you this way.

here's to a ______ November 2009. cheers

sheepish convulsions

have you come to a place where you know that, this is it? the familiar yet unfamiliar. you feel like going forward but your legs weigh you down and you either proceed heavily or stop. i don't know what to say sometimes, situations can get pretty awkward and all you can do is to grin sheepishly. but come to think of it, these sheepish moments, they're not too bad actually.

wonka nerds rope

i am a sentimentalist, safe to say, and i 'd like to really just go by feelings and emotions sometimes. doing this thing makes me feel good, doing that makes me feel something, et cetera. but feelings, they'll drain you. today i learnt that feeling follows faith, it doesn't come first.

discipline is hard, if it is easy, you don't need discipline.

it is not submission if there is no disagreement.

the topic of faithfulness only comes up when you feel like giving up.

rolls

two more weeks till WACE. i have this deja vu feeling (spm, pmr... descend the chronological exam ladder?). december, won't you come already?

i am in love with december, so very much. there are just too many things i want to do, yet i know that like the last time, i will never actually be able to complete everything i've listed down.

a cup of sunshine

knowing you and knowing me, we are on this thin thread. tip-toeing, cautiously, because we can't afford to fall. i relinquish, you retrieve.

winning sundays

He is too great to give up on. felt secured and assured especially on the [moshpit] just now. and He spoke - "it is I. why do you plan so much?"

Jer 29-11-13:
For I know the plans i have for you, they are the plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope...

again, a gentle reminder - let go, let God.
.
i am humbled

quite bluntly

October 5, 2009
because these are the things that i would blindly say to you, bluntly and blatantly too. and also because these are the words i could never bring myself to say to you in person, especially in person.

gasp

the smiley face and the WACE timetable are not a very apt combination.
.
oh when hunger strikes :(

enclosed; opened

today i found out that oscar wilde is bisexual. he had a wife - charlotte lloyd, and yet he had an affair with alfred douglas.

today was like any other, but 7pm-8.30pm was brilliant. (go CR!)
.
it rained today and i was (sort of) trapped in the library. it was interesting to see the rain pouring heavily outside yet everything is so calm and silent in the library. you can almost hear the swishing wind but all you see is the square frames of rain, like muted tv sets put together in electronics stores. you can almost smell them too, almost.

what do you want to say

my world is a spinning carousel

00:00, sunday

too many things cannot be just simply categorized into a this or that. i wish sometimes they were, then i can put you into a box, and carry you around
.
we are sons and daughters, lets run this family business :)

happiness
anticipation
fear
wanting
doing

of climbing staircases

each step requires stupendous effort
.
i flipped my heart around
and i could clearly hear the sound
of ticks and chimes
frost and climbs
now begin my journey upward
into this beautiful unknown suburb

hormones

i went for a jog just now with my earphones tucked, they keep falling off as i jog. i have not been on a run for a long, long time now, so now every joint is aching. is it always like this, is it true that once you've lost the momentum, once you've slowed down and eventually stop, the next beginning at the starting point will always be harder? but i pray that you will come back. come back already.
.
i was gripped by irritations of sorts for a moment, and i blame the [read title]

swollen eyes learn

everything was but a blur, everything but you.

what does it take for a man to lay it all down before God?
.
before october takes on a mad spin, let me get this right, please.

sometimes words get choked up and never uttered, sometimes the wrong ones just spill out like wasted water. i do not want to do the latter, neither the former. help me Lord.