of blue couches

here is my current vent when i'm rushing for assignments.
i'm currently drawing data flow diagrams (there is still the exponential headache of pseudocodes coming) with a perfect skill for making mistakes hence the need to readjust the whole diagram, shift the words, circles and previously drawn boxes around. and haven't anyone told you that mistakes are consequential and they bring along the ripple effect, in M.Word at least. Frustrating? it's 1.30a.m., my eyebags grow on fertile soil.

update: it's 2.45a.m

123 goodbye

this year is not new anymore. we are not, you arent. spill some sentences on the floor, someone might pick it up or trip over it. words are magical. dont you wish balloons can make you fly?
.
Canis Majoris, Beutergeuse, Rigel.

day to day i am in awe of Your majesty.

laminin
.
today i went cycling, and i realized just how long has it been since i last cycled. i almost tripped/knocked into parked cars.

night lights and low tides

a covenant that needs to be kept
.
the rain reminds me of many things
these images playing in my mind, like old vintage films, grainy and soft;
loud and vivid, lighted just nicely.
all of these images, they envelop me

fuzzy
.

let us travel this distance
walk on stormy shores
walk on graveled path
walk on muddy lands
walk on damp grass
walk on clouds
walk on air

walk against the wind

walk within His boundaries

nobody said it was easy

do i speak as loud as my heart?

- the scientist

packet

i think emotions are really what will drive us mad one day. emotions are what will make us do impulsive things that we will regret. emotions are what will drain us and snap us out of our rationality. emotions are like blood icicles to the pack of hungry wolves.

our hearts are deceitful.
.
cling on to Him, and your faith. cling-
.

this is my red brick house

muffin + milk

. i am a tiny icon in your desktop
. good and tender music really works wonders.
. my brother is -
. i am thankful for a lot of things, you being one of them.

that should do

this is my 90th post, today is the 19th of august.
.
I told a friend i would start studying for mocks in august, 1st of august.

didn't, and it's the nineteenth.

instant orange juice

you know what? i wish i could be. i reason with my own head and come up with a load of junk. i shouldn't. I keep thinking that what if things were to take a different path? maybe the answer would come to me like instant orange juice. confirmation just bolt down the road. but then what would i learn? we need to build ourselves first.
.
on the other hand, there's just too many things going on. We need to be unplugged:)

personalized tea bags

again, a sunday well spent in the House. wouldn't trade it for anything else, am surrendering that one.
.
Love people, love the lost. Dig a space in your heart to do so



liberated



(though nose is clogged and very runny, left ear is thumping , and throat is thankfully better)

on top a hill

i let myself wander to the source of the reason (hoobastank). it reminded me so much of form 1, and how i recorded it on the MD from the stereo with much effort -perfect timing and all, and played it on an infinite loop.

so tonight, i walked out alone and heard them live, 1km apart. the palette of colours seen from a distance, us strangers standing at the edge of the slope on top of a wobbly wooden bench, accompanied by trees. it felt good, it was nostalgic, quite.

creatures

i drank more than 5 litres of water today. i am a sea, a portable one.

tired sandals

i need to rely more on Him, and not my flesh.
.
learn to love people, yes even those with no filter for inane speeches.
.
it was tiring just now. flip flops that has no grip is not a very good idea on slippery roads. the bus took one hour to arrive, and if there were an indecisiveness showdown, we would beat everyone else hands down. i realise that when there is nothing else to do, staring at water can even be entertaining. but it was after all a water fountain, so i'm not that much of a weirdo. the hostel side gate is permanently closed, and i like to think that i was the last set of feet that walked through it before it was officially closed. the time was 7pm. it's a bit historical.

my throat is sore, i drank some very bitter tea just now, apparently it helps sore throat. please work

2.2

i will just take it as a reminder from God- i need to buck up i need to buck up i need to buck up

My Facebook Experience

It's funny how old alumni's connect and find one another through facebook. It's funny how I got this message in my inbox- "are you jane's daughter?" from a complete stranger. It's funny how time flies.

I put myself into that position, and find that yes it is possible that one day, one way or another, I might just find myself sending a message (on whatever mode of communication device possible during that era)(but i hope i won't) to my friends' kids and ask, " are you natalie's son?" (colby. lol)/ "are you kristine's daughter?"/ "are you lillian's son?" (lol much!). And then there may be the gathering, where it will always be interesting to see how time changed that person, that person who ran around the school screaming and shrieking, that person who cried for 3 consecutive months during primary 1, that person who was the clown of the class, that person who peed in his pants on the first day of school, that person who picked his nose in class and then threw tantrums, that person who cheated during spm, that person who was always into bgr simultaneously, into a whole different individual. Their realm of knowledge and life vastly expanded, different responsibilities weighing on their shoulders. But inside, that kid remained.

obt tomorrow, i have a tendency to waste time like this.

My Youtube Experience

i won't give up, and set my focus not on these minor imperfections, but the bigger picture He has. What I've also caught this week-we don't always have to be comfortable now, we've got plenty of time to be comfortable after we die, yes, die.
.
you make me feel

clamydomonas?

my head feels like it is going to explode from the heat, or maybe the drowsiness. i feel like it's about to undergo binary fission.

sunlight; sunshine

eighteen could be misheard as eighty. I am eighteen, this is the eightieth post, and this is the eighth month of the year.

Why must the clock tick so fast?
Will we still think that time isn't enough if we're given 48 hours per day?
`
today, i walked in and out of my heart.
`
"studies is bothering me about studies"
`
Happy Birthday Sam. (i doubt you even come to this place)
`
we do things the reversed way sometimes, like how we do referencing after the project, or how we speak, how i speak, sometimes. Sometimes is such a convenient word, and maybe.
`
why do you want to say things like these? why do we open our mouth sometimes to say things that we don't mean? maybe that's why i shut my mouth sometimes, it's better. And no, I will not let my deluded mind take control. I haven't even got time to finish that book and i just found out from the electronic library notice- no more renewal, and i'm past my due date.

i will follow you into the dark

I remember him, and his mother- the friendly canteen aunty who fries the best fried chicken, ever. Back then, it was rm1 for a piece, and mind you, it's really meaty and good. I also remember the day the accident happened, and the disappearance of him in tuitions for the stretch of one week or so, I couldn't remember. Another uncle took over the stall, and fried fried chickens. They never quite tasted the same.
`
I wish you, strength.